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Saturday, May 21, 2022

Why People Quit Relationships

The truth is, whatever has a beginning definitely must end. Life is transient, so we are all aware that nothing here is permanent. But there are things that we feel should not end the time they did.

Not because we intend to impose friendships, acquaintanceships, or relationships on people, nor is it because we feel we are the authority to decide when an end is right. All the same, some of these relationships would have lasted longer than they had.

The above being said, we will be letting us know some of the reasons why people quit all forms of relationships.

First, when the effort is coming from only one person. It takes two to tango, but when one of the parties begins to withdraw whether consciously or unconsciously, the other party, after striving to draw the attention of the first party that withdrew, fails, will have no choice but to quit.

The next is when a party in the relationship begins to feel used. This particular point is one that we can’t emphasize enough. Male and females are generally different no doubt, but humans are going to be humans.

The way humans feel they are trying to play smart or always wanting to be ahead, even taking issues of the heart with levity, is really at an alarming rate. This is not just about a romantic relationship.

Even in blood relationships, we see this every day. We have brothers, sisters, cousins, or even some parents who will just remember your existence only when they need your help.

It is not even just remembering you. It is about the attitude they display and the words they use. Sometimes last year, I had to talk to a friend who I knew was being used.

The friend felt so bad and I understand but I had to encourage this friend by saying that we can give our all to the ones we care about–family or not; if they use us, it is up to them, but we did our path with a clean heart. Yes, I only said that for consolation, but I know how terrible I feel when those who are close to me use me.

Again, people quit all forms of relationships when it is toxic. This is the point where I advise people to quit. Listen to this: no matter how you love a man, woman, brother, or sister, once it threatens your peace, take to your heels. I have been a relationship coach for over two years and I have listened to conversations–especially from my gender.

I have heard smart girls complain about how they deal with toxic relationships. I have also heard how smart boys end toxic relationships; mind you, a toxic relationship goes beyond the one where you have been abused physically.

A toxic relationship is one where you are being abused emotionally and psychologically. When you tell people to quit most times, your gender–be it male or female, will think you are not happy because you are not in a relationship.

READ MORE: How To Nurture Intimacy In Relationships

So sometimes, I try so hard to not advise people to quit. All I do is to the elements of toxicity and why one should quit once any of the elements is evidenced and consistent.

Also, I have seen people quit not because they want to, but because a friend, family, church, or acquaintance told them to do so. People in this category are those who have no say about their issues. This may be disrespectful, but these are people who I refer to as being ‘UNSTABLE’. They are like jellyfish with no backbone. Even if they are certain about a decision, so long as they are told to go back on the decision, they will gladly do so.

Lastly, today, people quit at the time they do because they are so sure that they are irreplaceable. No one believes that replaceability is a myth as much as I do. Yes, I have a REPLICA.

She does things the way I do. Most people often mistake her to be me, but one thing is certain, she is not me–that is the irreplaceable. But in this case, some people want you to take whatever they bring to you and expect you to accept it. So, this is the point where you show them that they are not irreplaceable. Yes, you will miss them.

There will be times you feel you want to go back to them. But stand your ground and let people know your worth. While I got the intuition for this point, Labrinth’s song ‘Jealous’ came to mind.

The part that got me and is relatable here is where he said, ” I wished you the best of all this world could give. I told you when you left me, there’s nothing to forgive. I always thought you would come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery”…

Like I say from the beginning that not all relationships are meant to end when they do. Some it is just the overconfidence of the parties involved that made them quit as when they do.

Let me quickly add that whether any of the points mentioned is not a case, but once it threatens your peace of mind or it comes in between your belief system or luxury, let it go–quit.

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The truth is, whatever has a beginning definitely must end. Life is transient, so we are all aware that nothing here is permanent. But there are things that we feel should not end the time they did.

Not because we intend to impose friendships, acquaintanceships, or relationships on people, nor is it because we feel we are the authority to decide when an end is right. All the same, some of these relationships would have lasted longer than they had.

The above being said, we will be letting us know some of the reasons why people quit all forms of relationships.

First, when the effort is coming from only one person. It takes two to tango, but when one of the parties begins to withdraw whether consciously or unconsciously, the other party, after striving to draw the attention of the first party that withdrew, fails, will have no choice but to quit.

The next is when a party in the relationship begins to feel used. This particular point is one that we can’t emphasize enough. Male and females are generally different no doubt, but humans are going to be humans.

The way humans feel they are trying to play smart or always wanting to be ahead, even taking issues of the heart with levity, is really at an alarming rate. This is not just about a romantic relationship.

Even in blood relationships, we see this every day. We have brothers, sisters, cousins, or even some parents who will just remember your existence only when they need your help.

It is not even just remembering you. It is about the attitude they display and the words they use. Sometimes last year, I had to talk to a friend who I knew was being used.

The friend felt so bad and I understand but I had to encourage this friend by saying that we can give our all to the ones we care about–family or not; if they use us, it is up to them, but we did our path with a clean heart. Yes, I only said that for consolation, but I know how terrible I feel when those who are close to me use me.

Again, people quit all forms of relationships when it is toxic. This is the point where I advise people to quit. Listen to this: no matter how you love a man, woman, brother, or sister, once it threatens your peace, take to your heels. I have been a relationship coach for over two years and I have listened to conversations–especially from my gender.

I have heard smart girls complain about how they deal with toxic relationships. I have also heard how smart boys end toxic relationships; mind you, a toxic relationship goes beyond the one where you have been abused physically.

A toxic relationship is one where you are being abused emotionally and psychologically. When you tell people to quit most times, your gender–be it male or female, will think you are not happy because you are not in a relationship.

READ MORE: How To Nurture Intimacy In Relationships

So sometimes, I try so hard to not advise people to quit. All I do is to the elements of toxicity and why one should quit once any of the elements is evidenced and consistent.

Also, I have seen people quit not because they want to, but because a friend, family, church, or acquaintance told them to do so. People in this category are those who have no say about their issues. This may be disrespectful, but these are people who I refer to as being ‘UNSTABLE’. They are like jellyfish with no backbone. Even if they are certain about a decision, so long as they are told to go back on the decision, they will gladly do so.

Lastly, today, people quit at the time they do because they are so sure that they are irreplaceable. No one believes that replaceability is a myth as much as I do. Yes, I have a REPLICA.

She does things the way I do. Most people often mistake her to be me, but one thing is certain, she is not me–that is the irreplaceable. But in this case, some people want you to take whatever they bring to you and expect you to accept it. So, this is the point where you show them that they are not irreplaceable. Yes, you will miss them.

There will be times you feel you want to go back to them. But stand your ground and let people know your worth. While I got the intuition for this point, Labrinth’s song ‘Jealous’ came to mind.

The part that got me and is relatable here is where he said, ” I wished you the best of all this world could give. I told you when you left me, there’s nothing to forgive. I always thought you would come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery”…

Like I say from the beginning that not all relationships are meant to end when they do. Some it is just the overconfidence of the parties involved that made them quit as when they do.

Let me quickly add that whether any of the points mentioned is not a case, but once it threatens your peace of mind or it comes in between your belief system or luxury, let it go–quit.

JOIN OUR NEWSLETTER

Our newsletter gives you access to a curated selection of the most important stories daily.

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